Evading Assault For Women - Self-Defense Risk Assessment

In distinguishing between infinite possibilities and imminent reality, here are the four essentials to consider.

1. If you were Peter Parker, would your "spider sense" be tingling?

You needn't have been bitten by a radioactive spider to recognize the sensation. What is your survival instinct/intuition/gift of fear telling you? Become aware of any sort of physical sensation that you associate with a warning. And you needn't be an action adventure superhero to do something about it.

2. Is someone violating your boundaries?

Boundary violations can begin small, as a test to see if you recognize it, display discomfort, yet say or do nothing. In the case of a stranger assault, the test may take only a minute, or even seconds. In cases of domestic violence, you may be groomed to tolerate such intrusions for months or years. Boundary violations can be visual (staring or surreptitious photography) and verbal (name-calling, goading, threatening), as well as physical.

Most women are assaulted by someone they know. The perpetrator abuses familiarity to take the benefit of doubt. Many women simply assume that because they and their assailant know people in common, they are safe. That's exactly what the assailant wants you to feel, and small testing boundary violations escalate until you can no longer deny that an assault is in progress. Assailants understand that you'll be reluctant to tell people you both know. In most cases that ends up being the case.

3. Is someone using ploys and manipulations?

Is someone trying to get you to do something, but you doubt their motives or agenda? Are they insisting that you owe them this favor, or trying to distract you? Do you feel they're stretching the truth, or outright lying? What is the real relationship between you and this person? Is their persuasion appropriate, given the relationship? Is your "spider sense" tingling?

4. Is someone trying to isolate you?

Assailants do not want to be caught. Assailants require not only a compliant victim but also an opportunity. Boundary violations and ploys work on the former, and isolation works on the latter.

Most people automatically think of physical isolation, but you can also be isolated socially and financially. Social isolation often happens where you may be amidst a crowd but you know nobody. Or, in abusive relationships, the abuser has been so nasty to your family and friends that you lose contact. Financial isolation is when an abuser controls the household money, leaving you with few resources you'd need to leave.

Should you ever find yourself uncomfortable with the people around you, keeping these four points in mind will go a long way to keep you out of harm's way.

Joanne Factor, owner and head trainer of Strategic Living in Seattle, teaches personal safety and self-defense skills that empower women (and men) to do more of what brings them success, happiness and other good things (such as travel, move to a new city, send their daughters off to college, teach abroad, begin dating, or going out on the town with your best girlfriends, you get the idea) with lots more confidence and security. And more confidence and security brings more joy and success. Visit http://www.StrategicLiving.org for more information and current class schedule.





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